A Call From The Hospital

Several years ago, in mid-October, Bright Futures received a call from a local hospital asking for help for a couple who delivered a baby that morning.  The couple did not know that they were pregnant and were shocked to find that the abdominal pain the woman was experiencing when she came to the emergency room was labor.  A few hours later, she had the baby, asking the hospital staff not to disclose the gender of the child.  The couple immediately asked for support in thinking about their parenting options.  They were already parenting a toddler and were not sure if they could financially or emotionally support a second child for whom they felt unprepared.  The mom chose to leave the hospital the same day.

During the remainder of the baby’s hospital stay, one of Bright Futures’ interim care moms spent time visiting with and holding the baby.  She even decided to give her the name “Autumn” after the gorgeous fall day of her birth.  Bright Futures provided counseling and support and loving, interim care for the baby while the parents considered their options.  When the hospital called initially, Bright Futures was told that the parents did not want to be involved in the adoption process at all.  After learning about the option of selecting an adoptive family for their child, though, the couple did want to do this.  They looked at information about several families before selecting a couple that they felt could give their baby all she deserved.  They were especially pleased that the family had other adopted children in their extended family and had travelled to interesting places.  They balanced their sadness about not being able to care for their second child with the knowledge that they were blessing another family with the opportunity to become parents and providing their child with opportunities that they themselves could not.

The parents were given the option of meeting and spending time getting to know the family they selected, but chose not to do so.  They are aware that they can do this at any time when they feel ready.  Recently, they chose to learn the gender of the baby and to see pictures of her.  The day they received the pictures, birth mom called to say how much more at peace she was with their decision seeing a photograph of her daughter.  As they have more time to process this experience, we expect that they will choose to meet the adoptive parents and baby as well.  As an open adoption agency, we educate birth and adoptive parents about the benefits of getting to know and respect one another and building a lifelong relationship for the benefit of the child.  We also recognize that sometimes it takes time.

Autumn’s adoptive parents were overjoyed to welcome her into their lives and have already written a letter to her birth parents inviting them into a relationship whenever they are ready.

Post Script:  Since this story was originally written, the birth parents have chosen to meet the adoptive family and the two families have enjoyed getting to know one another and watching the siblings connect.